


You Have Five New Messages

by I_am_lampy



Series: Open Your Eyes [12]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Awkward Conversations, M/M, Texting, Voicemail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 23:55:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10887558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_lampy/pseuds/I_am_lampy
Summary: John has five new voicemails.





	You Have Five New Messages

* * *

**12.03.2017 10:14 am**

**You have 5 new messages. To go to the main menu, press 3. To change your voicemail options press 9.**

****

**12.03.2017 8:17 am**

_John, it's me. Sherlock. I know you don't want to talk to me but I want to apologize – I need to apologize, actually. I'm so sorry I told you we weren't friends._ **[audible sob then deep breath]** _I let jealousy override my – I was so jealous, John._ **[audible sob then crying for two seconds then deep breath]** _It doesn't excuse anything I said. Or didn't say, for that matter. I just couldn't imagine – well, I could imagine, actually – but I._ **[four second pause]** _You are my entire world, you know. You have Rosie and I realize it's not the same as having a_ **[voicemail ends]**

**12.03.2017 8:20 am**

_Sorry, I accidentally hung up. I kept talking for thirty seconds before I realized I was no longer speaking to your voicemail._ **[nervous laugh]** _Anyway, I was saying that you have Rosie and she's someone to love and hold and –_ **[audible sob and sniffing]** _John, I – my love, my love_ **[audible crying continues for seven seconds]** _I'm sorry, my love, I'm so sorry. Talk to me, please. I know I'm in the wrong. I did a terrible, terrible thing and I know it. I was so angry. So jealous. Thinking of you with someone else in my bed, not because it was my bed – I know that's what I said – but it was because I spent all that time I was away – not away, not away, I'm sorry. That time when you thought I was dead. I know that's another thing, terrible thing. John. Please._ **[audible crying continues until voicemail hangs up after reaching two minute limit]**

**12.03.2017 9:41 am**

_I didn't call back right away because I needed to, uh. Compose myself, as it were._ **[nervous laugh]** _I am possessive and jealous and I know that. There were many times, almost every day, actually, when you thought I was dead – see, I got it right this time. It is possible for me to learn, despite what everyone thinks._ **[nervous laugh]** _Anyway, every day I imagined telling you I loved you and kissing you and then taking you to bed and making love to you – and yes, that's exactly how I thought of it. Not fucking or having sex – I know that's what I said to you when we were lying in your bed in the middle of the night – but making love to you – and then it would be_ our _bed. So you see I had this, uh – I had this dream, you know. This fantasy of us together after I came back to you and it included our bed, John. I have more to say, so much more to_ **[voicemail hangs up after reaching two minute limit]**

**12.03.2017 9:44 am**

_Clearly, nothing I have to say can be squeezed into a two minute voicemail. As you well know, I can be a bit wordy._ **[three second pause]** _You know, Mycroft came to your defense. I'm glad Mrs. Hudson doesn't know what I did. I shudder to think the dressing down I would've gotten from our terrifying landlady. Um, well not,_ our _terrifying landlady. Because, obviously, you don't live here anymore._ **[clears throat then takes deep breath]** _Anyway, as I said, Mycroft came to see me and practically demanded that I apologize to you. Not that I need Mycroft to convince me to apologize to you because of course, of course I knew that I needed to apologize to you I only thought_ **[takes deep breath]** _I couldn't bear for you to refuse me. I know I'm horrible to you and everyone, horrible to everyone but - I'm - well, you really. You -_ **[takes deep breath then four seconds of crying]** _My heart is too tender where you're concerned, John. I hate sounding so needy and sentimental, it's so absurd, I know, for me to think I'm sacrificing my pride when it's you and I'm willing to sacrifice everything for you. My love, my love, John, you are the love of my_ **[voicemail hangs up after reaching two minute limit]**

**12.03.2017 9:47 am**

_Dammit, John, would you please answer the phone? I know you're home. Mycroft told me. If you insist on being – I'm sorry._ **[takes deep breath]**   _I'm sorry. I'm only getting angry because I hate begging but I am begging. This is me begging. How am I doing so far?_ **[laughs once]**   _An attempt at levity there._ **[two second pause then takes deep breath]** _The truth is that I understand how horrible those two years you thought I was dead must've been for you. And I'm ready to listen. I'm sorry I wasn't ready to listen before now. I'm sorry that I let you think I was dead. I'm sorry_ **[audible sob then deep takes breath]** _I’m sorry, my love, I don't know how to make this better except to tell you the truth, which is that I love you with all my heart. When I fell from the roof of St. Bart's, I loved you. I did what I did out of love but I know, I know it wasn't the right thing to do._ **[audible crying for four seconds then sniffing]** _I didn't understand human emotions quite as well then, in my defense._ **[nervous laugh]** _I know it was horrible for you but, John, I assure you that I spent those two years in my own misery. I did horrible things, too, but there were also – John, my love, please. I can't do this on a voicemail._ **[audible crying for two seconds]** _There were things done to me, John, things that I don't want to think about, ever, and it's so much easier to focus on my_ **[voicemail hangs up after reaching two minute limit]**

**SMS 12.03.2017 10:16 am**

**to Sherlock Holmes from John Watson**

_was in tesco. give me 2 hours to get sitter then will come 2 ur flat 2 talk_

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> I always welcome emails from readers about anything that tickles your fancy, even if it's just randomness!
> 
> archiveofMYown@gmail.com  
> Teddy


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